You are welcome.
Step 1
Flatten yourself into 2-dimensions using your favorite method. I recommend having a friend use a steamroller on you.
Step 2
Go back in time to 1666 using your favorite method. I recommend becoming a physicist and building a time machine.
Step 3
Attempt to assassinate a French king and fail, so that you are convicted and sentenced to...
Step 4
... death by dismembering by 4 horses. Bribe or befriend a royal advisor as necessary to have them tie your fate to dismemberment by 4 horses.
Step 5
You are now the sum of a 2 x 2 square matrix and an (ignorable) constant!
Step 6
Rotating the 2x2 matrix as necessary to achieve the depicted 2 x 2 form, apply the Opposite Limb Theorem [i.e. the right (left) hand is the exact vernacular opposite of the left (right) leg, and so they are an odd function of each other]. Then take the Trace of the resulting matrix to observe that you are TRACELESS! Therefore, they will never find you!!!
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Baaa